if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
