Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
