Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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