pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
