is your mom at the bar?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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