with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
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Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
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Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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