I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
should my penis look like a turkey
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
