It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize