How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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