I can't breathe out the right side of my face
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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