I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
