cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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