i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
