so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
