Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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