I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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