Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
