I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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