we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
