It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
