What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
sarcasm needs its own font
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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