Whod you bang
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize