Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.

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  (301): Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life. http://tfl.nu/ieq0
  Replies (5) Good night (592) Bad night (3295) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"

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  (862): you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen" http://tfl.nu/7vz2
  Replies (14) Good night (5617) Bad night (618) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub

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  (709): you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub http://tfl.nu/5cjl
  Replies (20) Good night (5003) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!

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  (267): The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering! http://tfl.nu/inse
  Replies (45) Good night (6961) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.

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  (678): I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life. http://tfl.nu/5bor
  Replies (17) Good night (4519) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.

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  (717): yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup. http://tfl.nu/otef
  Replies (13) Good night (4178) Bad night (1286) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1

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  (419): So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1 http://tfl.nu/tz8w
  Replies (35) Good night (6540) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.

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  (248): We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment. http://tfl.nu/088o
  Replies (3) Good night (2588) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.

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  (410): Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style. http://tfl.nu/gn5p
  Replies (9) Good night (3424) Bad night (938) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.

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  (330): Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it. http://tfl.nu/tfef
  Replies (19) Good night (1067) Bad night (2344)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.

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  (620): And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life. http://tfl.nu/jjq6
  Replies (15) Good night (1826) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.

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  (817): I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face. http://tfl.nu/oog9
  Replies (8) Good night (592) Bad night (3465)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.

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  (770): All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life. http://tfl.nu/y2ti
  Replies (4) Good night (803) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.

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  (772): You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer. http://tfl.nu/ehgy
  Replies (10) Good night (1734) Bad night (417)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.

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  (641): I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change. http://tfl.nu/5jew
  Replies (2) Good night (893) Bad night (342)

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