ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
