you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin