he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He? As in you personified your dick?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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