is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
