Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
