i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
