When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
