Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
