big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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