so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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