My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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