i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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