Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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