i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
