I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
