grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
