So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
