It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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