i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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