whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
