At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
