You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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