5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
