Swine flu. Run for my life!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize