I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
