The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize