it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
