I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
