YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Who died my cat blue again?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
