Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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