Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
