my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
