id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
