He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
