I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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