She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
