If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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