Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
