I think i peed on brittanys purse
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
