I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it glows. i had to have it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
