Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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