have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
