I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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