Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
