Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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