Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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