To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
