What a fucking waste of an outfit
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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